Who am i?

I don't even know who am I these days. The only word to describe how I feel now; LOST. Why? I'm still searching for the answer. I've been thinking bout it for nights. What is exactly disturbing my mind? Will I ever gain back my hopes? If I ever gain them back, will I see them shatter into millions of pieces again? Will I be able to stay strong? Is there any possibilities for me to give up my life? Will I start hurting myself again? There're so many questions playing in my head. I tempted to restart my 'addiction' but something stopped me from doing so. Maybe it's the feeling of guilt. Knowing if I do so, I'll break my promise, hurting people around me especially the one who truly cares for me. Guide me. What should I do? Bring me back to life.